"Commenting" not "Liking" for a Month

I put myself through a bit of an experiment for a month. Well, honestly, I have extended since as it was such a great experience and I wanted to share with you what I did and what I felt. for the TL:DR folks out there here the short; I stopped liking posts on social media for a month and loved it and I think you should try it too!

TL:DR

“I stopped liking posts on social media for a month and loved it!"

I had thought about something like this for a few weeks, maybe even longer before I finally got around to it. I wanted to see if I didn't spend so much time scrolling through my social feeds would it give me more pleasure. Maybe pleasure is not the right term, but you know what I mean. I do spend quite some time between Instagram (mostly stories) and LinkedIn. I use Instagram stories to share the backstory to my Life of Leisure and Innovation. Often that includes me eating/cooking food, hiking but also building my business and the feedback from others gives me a great feeling. LinkedIn as I am building my own business now is where many of my business audience is and honesty where I find a majority of my podcast guests as well as develop relationships with others in the industry.

Both Instagram and LinkedIn have a "feed" structure many will know from Facebook (which I have ignored for years) and that feed draws you in, makes you want to swipe one more time upwards for perhaps that piece of magic, the dopamine which we humans crave. Now to my test. I felt I was scrolling and coming across interesting tidbits folks would share, and I would interact with them by liking or commenting and at times sharing their post to my network. Ignoring the algorithm and that each platform wants us to do is to spend more time there I found that just scattering "likes" across the platform didn't leave me with a "dopamine" feeling. I didn't feel any better doing this so I decided I would stop.

Stopped leaving "likes"

On the 1st of September, I began my experiment, I stopped leaving likes. I did catch myself many times, mostly on Instagram, almost hitting the like button but then pulling back. Now, this is the interesting point, perhaps an inflection point, by not being able to leave a like I had to decide how much the post motivated me to do more, something requiring more effort like writing a comment. You will all know the effort or time it takes to leave a “like”. You can leave a dozen likes in less than a minute if you are feeling sporty. I don't mean to imply that the act of leaving a “like” is not meant in full faith, not that you really didn't want to leave one but felt like you had to, of course not. I wanted to reflect a moment longer about the piece of content and what it really meant to me. After a month I looked back on the month and then felt I needed to share the 2 effects it had on me; one, it made me slow down on the social networks and two I felt a lot better in the process.

Slowing down

I wanted to slow myself down while on these social platforms. I knew that the scrolling by was just not what I needed to be doing but the FOMO often had me in its grips. By finding a post, contemplating what I felt about it even for a few seconds, had me take time out and pause before continuing. If the post moved me enough that I really felt I wanted to speak back to the author or add something else to the conversation, then I wrote a comment. I wrote a lot of comments.

There were times where I would read an interesting post and knowing I would not just be leaving a “like” I would begin scrolling onwards but then stop myself and go back to the post and write a comment. I took that moment to reflect on what it made me feel and came up with a response. A response I hope the author found interesting or helpful. Sometimes I would write comments which were longer than the original post itself. I have no idea what they thought or if they felt that was a bit overkill, but I slowed down and reflected. I don't want to get too deep here, but I know that I have become an "above the fold" reader at times. I read the headlines and the first few lines and often then scroll onwards. This new practice had me changing that. There was another outcome I didn't expect which also appeared; feeling better.

Feeling good

I spoke to Nicole Menten who's a Business Psychologist about my experience and she had some great points about this and how this is just how we humans are wired and other smart points that I cannot remember in detail now but are in an upcoming podcast I recorded with her. Somewhere during the month, I just felt a lot better about spending time on the platforms. I knew when opening the app that I was not there to spray likes everywhere but to find and comment on content. I didn't measure any of my online sessions, but I probably spent the same amount of time on each platform. There was no net time gained from this and that was not my objective either. Interacting with others work felt more honest. It gave me the feeling I was adding to the experience for the other person as well and maybe a third person also.

In real life we don't only applaud others for their work, we pat them on the back and say a few words. We might even add a few sentences to it to give them future encouragement, compliment, or suggestions of where they could try more to improve even more. We humans don't just walk around giving people a "thumbs up" when we see them across the parking lot. If they are important then we walk up to them and at least "say hi". That has always made us feel good, feel connected to our friends our colleagues and even those we might know that well. Being more human and not allowing the platforms to decide how we should interact and support others. We should take that more into our thoughts when on these social networks.

Building relationships

Finally, in the first month of this new tactic I found I was entering many more exciting conversations, deeper conversations. Some would move over to Direct Messages, others to a phone call and even 2 others became invitations from me to interview them for my podcast. These were people I had never connected with previously. Just by having honest conversation via comments we were able to learn more about each other and begin building a working relationship.

Back to the feeling good, this is just human nature, that with one of Nicole's points. We are still human beings even when on the internet and when we act as one, we can have fruitful experiences. To end this post, I have extended my experiment for another month. I have modified my "no likes" to let me add a like if someone has commented back to my comment and I don't feel it is helpful or needed to just keep talking. In these cases, I may send a like telling the other that I saw their note. I am writing this on a Sunday in October while taking a week away in the Black Forest. It is grey and rainy at times, but I am excited to open my LinkedIn and see what interesting things my connections will post in the new week and hope they are ready for my comments. Maybe, if you think this is something for you, then give it a try and report back. I'd love to hear what your reactions were and if they were similar to mine.

Stay safe y'all. It's tough times out there.

Your Andrew